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Jokes for happy days

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1. How does a man take an important decision?
He covers his head with his hands, closes his eyes, thinks profoundly, he listens to his conscience and then says with determination: “Wife, how do you think we should do?”
2. – Love, give me the baby.
– Wait to cry.
– To cry? Why?
– Because I can not find him!!!
3. Two friends in the park:
– Hear, who will you vote for at the next election?
– With Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.
– How is that?
– To make sure it's only 40.
4. – Mom, I have to give you two news. One good and one bad.
– Tell me the good one.
– I finally passed a test.
– Bravo! And the bad one?
– It was a pregnancy test.
5. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!' The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.
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Location: United States, NY 11366